I have limited memory of how school assignments were growing up. That could be because back in the day and especially in my lower primary school, there was hardly any assignment to take home, and from upper primary school and high school, boarding school meant that everything was done at school. So, being a boarder, I am at peace with the little part I remember.

That however changed with parenting and having to sign school diaries after my children had completed their assignments, but again, not for very long. That’s because after a certain stage of them growing up, they knew the repercussions of not having completed their assignments and so they would do what they needed to do in matters time management and assignment completion, and that eased up my daily inspection as a parent.

My second phase of assignments hit me hard as it came in my adult life through my enrolment for online university education where assignments contributed to 70% of the final mark at the end of every semester. One question would take days to research and pages of typed work not forgetting the citation of previous work by scholars. That is the kind of assignment I want to talk about today. But in a slightly different context. The assignments God gives us.

How many times do you feel led by God to take on a certain task and you feel inadequate? Assignments are not always easy. They are often times an unwelcome distraction that has no place in our already busy lives. It’s during such times that you may find yourself thinking of the easiest way out, needing multiple confirmations, giving excuses why you are not the right person for the task and sometimes just procrastinating. I am reminded of two guys in the Bible that had excuses for the assignments God gave them;

1. Jonah’s excuse in Jonah 4:2 was that he had chosen to flee to Tarshish instead of going to Nineveh where he was sent by God because he knew God was compassionate
2. Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1 told God that he was young so could not be a prophet

Ofcourse, God could not hear any of these. Your assignment is yours! And If it’s only You that God chose to accomplish it, He has the power to bring it to completion through you. There’s a child with your last name waiting to be born five years from now, a house in the suburbs waiting to be built, a ranch in some beautiful countryside waiting for you to possess it, a lady or man waiting for you to be their spouse. I mean, there are so many things ahead, but it starts as an impossible assignment. You may need to start a business today to make some money to own that ranch. Small decision, big assignment and huge mountain but with a powerful God to make it happen.

What assignment have you been running from today? this week? this month? or even this year Philippians 4:13 reminds us that, “we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength”.

Your delay may be blocking you to the next level of blessing or door that God has already opened for your breakthrough. There is also someone in your circle that’s looking at the journey you have taken or are taking and realising that if God can do this for You, He can do it for them. Despite all the fear that the enemy keeps planting in us, there are many witnesses that are looking forward to seeing you succeed and be the epitome of success they can identify with and say that if you made it, they can too.

Today, in what you consider “late to be married, late to get children, late to graduate (a certificate, diploma, degree, masters, PhD), late to change careers, late to invest, late to live a healthy life, late to forgive your perpetrators, late to start a business or late to move to a new town.

Whose calendar are you working with? Don’t you know? many are they that are waiting to use your testimony and courage as a benchmark?

I have leaned on these words from the bible multiple times to take on mountains that I thought were immovable.. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9).

Be courageous today, take on the assignment you have put off for so long. Relocate, Rewrite those goals and then START. Always keeping this in mind, amongst other reasons, “You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved”.

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In 2003, I remember a book being launched at church called “My Sheep Hear My Voice”. Back then, I attended church services at The North Shore Christian Centre in North Vancouver, Canada led by the Late Pastor Ross Norris. It was graciously loud and a spirit led ministry, that I always imagined heaven must be like that. Having being born and raised Anglican In Kenya in what was then called CPK (Church of the Province of Kenya), loud worship and prayer was not experienced in church. I had grown up singing hymns in my native mother tongue and seldomly English or Kiswahili. I remember a lot of mention of God and Jesus Christ but not much on the Holy Spirit. Maybe that was an age thing that I don’t remember so well, but for sure, my first experience with the pentecostal kind of praise and worship and speaking in tongues was in High School. So this very experience of the said book launch was a big deal for me.

That day, the sermon was explained in such a vivid way that I still go back to my experience at the altar, kneeling down, all broken down with tears streaming down my cheeks with this song by Ron Kenoly playing and asking God for an opportunity to know Him better and hear His voice. I was young and inexperienced in so many things and especially matters God, but I was a willing and ready student. The sermon had a narrative of a number of children playing outside a house and if one child cried or called out for help, a parent or caregiver would instantly identify who that child was. There was also a narrative of a tv station that would air 24/7 and only those who chose to tune in would watch and hear what the station had to say at the time they tuned in. So straight up, I knew, God had and was and would continue speaking to me, but I had to have a relationship with enough in order to recognise His voice from the crowd as well as be intentional on tuning in to hear.

Well! lets just say that was easier said than done. But as I grew up, and life’s responsibilities and realities checked in, I had to go back to that very day several times in my quiet moments and ask God to please help me understand and experience the reality of His voice and that has been a daily journey and intentional walk with multiple dangerous speed bumps along the way.

Gods’ voice is very clear, and we all experience it in different ways, be it in a Dream or Vision, His word (The Bible), A Message through Someone else, Creation (animals or nature etc). The reality is that as long as we are in a relationship with Him and desire to hear Him, He does and he will reveal His voice to us. Is it always good stuff…Oh No!. I wish it was, It could be a warning, direction, guidance, I mean He is God, the maker of heaven and Earth and ALL that is in it. Are you special when he speaks to you? NO!…You just happen to be in tune with your maker and recognise His voice just as you would the voice of a close friend or a child or a loved one. Discernment however plays a big role here, to avoid the oops! moment that end us up saying something like, “Oh!, I thought it was my child but seems that the next door neighbours child has a similar voice with my child”. We cannot afford to have such oops moments with God. Imagine the mess this can lead you to if you obeyed the voice that was not of God..thus the need to have that deep intimacy with Him that you can never miss His voice. Having a Bible and asking Him to teach You His word is a great place to start, commit a few minutes, then hours to that word, then look for a community of Bible based believers around you that will help you in the journey.

My encouragement for you today is to take time and be led by your shepherd, God. It took me time to understand the role of a shepherd in the life of a sheep. A shepherd gives themselves fully to the welfare of the sheep, ensuring their safety, welfare, health, protection and maintaining the community of numbers. The sheep on the other hand listen and follow the leading of their shepherd and if by any chance one strays, the shepherd just as the Bible describes in Luke 15 and Matthew 18 on the parable of the lost sheep will leave the ninety nine and pursue that one.

That is how special you are to God. So no matter what season of life you are in at this time, no matter how hot the fire may feel, be encouraged in the promises of 1 Kings 19:12, ‘After the fire, came a gentle whisper”.. May that gentle whisper be the direction you need for the next step in your life, your education, your marriage, your relocation, your church, your investments, your grief or loss or your relationship. Whatever situation you are in, just know; ‘Your own ears will hear Him (GOD), right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go”, whether to the right or to the left’. Isaiah 30:21.

Let’s meet here again soon for another session of …Matters of The Heart…. God Bless you!

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It’s been a season of me realising that, “God is in control so that I don’t have to be“. Is that not tough? of course it is, and especially when you are used to a rushed life trying to get everything and everybody to get things moving. By realising and acknowledging that God is sovereign, I can rest in His embrace and joyfully say, “May the will of God prevail in this situation”

Psalms 37:5 reminds us to commit everything we do to God and He will help us. The word commit according to the Oxford dictionary means, “to promise sincerely that you will definitely do something, keep to an agreement or arrangement, etc.” The God I serve is a keeper of agreements. When He promises to do something, He does it. I could write volumes of books on the promises He has kept with many that I did not even deserve, and despite my sometimes not keeping the promises I made to Him, He has remained faithful.

The Psalmist also reminds us in Psalms 46:10 to be still and know that He is God. As I reflected on that word today, I visualised the image of my life as a fragile and beautiful butterfly ready to fly and explore all the beauty and blessings around me. I however felt the weight and restrictions of the many things I have allowed to keep pulling me down. It is the same for many of us today who have to carry the weight of sin, unforgiveness, guilt, grief, loss, shame, break-ups, broken promises and lies from people we have trusted with our lives, a failing government with broken systems, corruption in public institutions that should be serving mankind. The pain can be heavy and the frustrations unbearable. But I am comforted in knowing that there’s nothing I cannot surrender to the creator of the universe. We may differ on who God is and if He truly recognises the pain and anguish of His children, But the reality is that there’s a source in this world, who brought you to be through birth and will take you out in death. With that in mind, be assured that nothing in between passes Him. To me, that source is God, and He clearly sees all that is around us, and one day, however late in our years, all will come to His seat of justice.

As you surrender whatever it is that you are going through today, May you allow God to grant you rest. And may the words of this song also bring you comfort. God Bless You.

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It’s not everyday that you wake up and follow your daily schedule or rituals that may have been formed by observing others, different worldviews or even views based on books you may have read. You know those books that guide you on how the rich and the successful spend the first one hour of their day or how to boost your productivity by using some certain morning rituals. Well, I remember reading a book that has S.A.V.E.R.S as the acronym. That meant that I spent an equal amount of time on Silence, Affirmations, Vision, Exercise, Reading and Scribing (Journaling). Well, for the season that I used the S.A.V.E.R.S technique, I did make some tremendous milestones in my life, but soon, that season ended and I needed to open a new door. I mention that because I am at a point of transition where alot has changed and my reset button now means that only God has control, not me and my rituals!

A few weeks back, I chose a path of healing. Healing can come in so many forms such as spiritual, physical, mental, emotional or even relational. I mention these five as I can relate to each of them at the different stages of my life. Grief especially as a result of death of a loved one is that hard scar that hurts at all levels and it’s the one thing that cuts across all facets of healing and only God can deal with, so I will not even talk about that today. When I decided to take on a healing journey in the third quarter of this year, I struggled with where to start and how. All I knew was that the time had come and there was no turning back. As a born again christian, I knew my direction and my source was only God. He knew the path I needed to take and He would give me what I needed. All I had to do was to trust the process. I set my intention for the month of August as “Health”..and in that one decision, God sent a lady called Christine my way.

Christine had no smile or emotions on her face, but she was the therapist I was assigned to walk with for the next few unknown number of sessions. All I remember is that by the last session, I looked at her and there was a smile on her face, and I asked if I could give her a hug as I left the room. She had no solution for any darkness I held as I walked to the counselling room that first day, but I remember, every session left me with a ray of hope, that resulted into a fully lit up different person, on that last day. I had carried all the answers and the light all along, but I needed that reminder, that indeed, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am confident that Christine was used by God to bring that out in me. I know you will see this Christine so…Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Well, my story does not end there as I soon realised that the very same light I now carried would attract everything. Sometimes, we are drawn to the light to see more clearly, but remember some not very nice bugs are also attracted to that same light. These are the little bugs that come to distract your peace and quiet, even as those seeking the light are silently beside you enjoying the warmth or silently increasing their knowledge as they turn pages of a book.

What I did not know was that a healed person becomes a light. The truth is that when you think you have healed or rather kicked off a healing journey and carry that light, you attract everything….joy, discouragement, anger, love, lust, infatuation or even that desire or need to grow and be a better person. I mix all these up as these are common let me call them “effects and side effects” in a healing journey.

In my own season, I quickly began to attract those that needed my light and would keep that light brighter by cleaning off the dust and chasing away the nasty bugs. Through a Saturday Class, I met an amazing group of ladies and gentlemen that have been instrumental in my relational journey from a christian worldview, while my September brought along not just another birthday to remind me to renew my vows to self and set up a new vision board, but it also brought in a daily evening class that had me on camera to expose my naivety in exchange of knowing my place in God and the direction of my life. My friend Jane M orchestrated this and through it, I met two great ladies, Wanja E and Sylvia O. That class was been life changing as my purpose became more defined (Ikigai will have to wait longer on my bookshelf). On the other hand, I was able to define love, lust and infatuation through the names of individuals. If the name of the person you claim to love cannot be replaced by the word Love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT) ”Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance“. Then you need to think through it. (If you are a parent or guardian, this is a good lesson for your children because they can be trained to be this definition of love..Kind, Not jealous or boastful or proud or rude..etc).

I don’t know the decisions you have to make today or what you are going through that seems so hard, uncomfortable, indecisive, tricky ….you name it!…but guess what? you have a choice today.

May today define the end of that season you are in and the beginning of a new season that God wants you in…. and I am confident, that the love of God and those He sends your way will sustain you in this new season because the only way God can show us He is in control is to put us in situations we can’t control.

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I have sometimes wondered what my body would say if it had a real voice and remembered all the commitments I have made to it…Workout more, drink more water. I have gone to the extent of joining some health accountability groups to keep me motivated, but its clearly not an easy journey. I need daily motivation. As a christian, I am called to honour and care for my body and so are you, as our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). One powerful way to do this is by developing a daily habit of working out. Exercise not only benefits our physical health but also has numerous spiritual and mental benefits that can help us grow in our faith. In this blog, we will explore how to build a daily habit of working out and how it can strengthen our bodies and our relationship with God.

Prioritise Your Health: Just as we make time for daily prayer and reading the Bible, we must prioritise our physical health as well. Set aside a specific time each day for exercise, whether it’s in the morning, during lunch break, or in the evening. Treat it as an important appointment with yourself and with God. Remember, taking care of our bodies is an act of stewardship, and when we are healthy, we are better equipped to serve God and others.

Start Small and Be Consistent: It’s important to start small and be consistent when developing a daily habit of working out. Begin with an exercise routine that is manageable for your fitness level and schedule. It could be a short walk, a 10-minute workout, or a gentle stretch. The key is to be consistent and gradually increase the intensity and duration of your workouts over time. Consistency is key in building a habit that becomes a natural part of your daily routine.

Involve God in Your Workouts: As Christians, we believe that our faith is not limited to Sunday worship but should permeate every aspect of our lives, including our workouts. Involve God in your workouts by offering prayers of gratitude for your body and its abilities, seeking God’s strength and guidance as you push yourself physically, and using your workout time as an opportunity for worship and reflection. You can also listen to uplifting Christian music or podcasts during your workouts to nourish your spirit while you strengthen your body.

Embrace the Benefits: Regular exercise has numerous benefits for our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Exercise helps to reduce stress, improve mood, increase energy levels, boost brain function, and promote better sleep – all of which can positively impact our faith journey. When we take care of our bodies, we are better equipped to fulfil God’s purposes for our lives and have the energy and stamina to serve Him and others more effectively.

Stay Accountable: Building a daily habit of working out can be challenging, and it’s helpful to have accountability partners who can support and encourage you on your journey. Share your fitness goals with a trusted friend, family member, or fellow believer who can hold you accountable, offer motivation, and celebrate your progress. You can also join a Christian exercise group or class to connect with like-minded individuals who can inspire and challenge you to stay committed to your workouts.

Developing a daily habit of working out is not only beneficial for our physical health but also for our faith journey. By prioritising our health, starting small, involving God, embracing the benefits, and staying accountable, we can build a healthy habit that honours God and helps us become physically, mentally, and spiritually strong. So, let’s lace up our sneakers, put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), and embark on a journey of building a strong body and a stronger faith. Remember, you are not alone, for God is with you every step of the way. God bless you!

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Whats going on in your life today?….Any celebrations or just regrets?..Are you feeling like you’ve made too many mistakes in life, missed opportunities, or wasted precious time? Do you believe that it’s too late to start over and make a change for the better? As a Christian, I want to share with you the incredible truth that there is no late time to start over because of the gift of redemption through Jesus Christ.

In the Bible, we see countless stories of individuals who experienced a fresh start through God’s grace and forgiveness. One such story is that of the prodigal son, as recounted in Luke 15:11-32. The younger son squandered his inheritance in reckless living, but when he came to his senses, he decided to return to his father, confessed his mistakes and sought forgiveness. Despite his waywardness, the father welcomed him back with open arms, celebrated his return and restored him to his former position. This story exemplifies God’s unwavering love and mercy, regardless of our past failures or poor choices.

Another powerful example is the apostle Peter, who denied Jesus three times during his crucifixion. Peter was devastated by his betrayal, but after Jesus’ resurrection, he was given the opportunity to start over. Jesus forgave Peter and restored him to a position of leadership, commissioning him to feed His sheep (John 21:15-19). This shows that even when we falter and fall, God’s forgiveness and restoration are available to us.

As a Christian, I believe that through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, we are offered redemption and a fresh start. Romans 3:23-24 reminds us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” No matter how many mistakes we’ve made, no matter how much time we’ve wasted, God’s grace is greater. It’s never too late to turn to Him, repent, and receive forgiveness and a new beginning.

Starting over with God’s help doesn’t mean that the consequences of our past choices will necessarily disappear, but it means that we can move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and hope. We can learn from our mistakes, grow in wisdom, and make better choices going forward. God can turn our mess into a message, our tests into a testimony, and our pain into a purpose.

So, if you’re feeling discouraged, regretful, or stuck in a cycle of defeat, remember that there’s no late time to start over with God. He is the God of second chances, and His grace is always available to you. Embrace His forgiveness, receive His love, and allow Him to guide you on a new path of transformation and restoration. Your past does not define your future. With God, there’s always hope for a fresh beginning, no matter how late it may seem. Trust in His promises and take that first step towards a new and abundant life in Christ. Hope today is the day you Start Over…God Bless You!

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We are called to love everyone but we must also be careful not to crash as we pursue to love and be loved. Discern toxicity and narcism and know how to guard your heart. As a christian, I am called to live a life that is pleasing to God and to continuously grow in my faith. One key aspect of our spiritual journey is the support system we choose to surround ourselves with. Our environment and the people we associate with can have a profound impact on our spiritual growth. Therefore, it is crucial to intentionally purpose to be around the right support system that will not only encourage and strengthen us but also help us grow in our faith, rather than taking away from it.

Choose Christ-Centered Relationships: Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” It is important to choose relationships that are centered on Christ and promote godly values. Surrounding yourself with fellow believers who are passionate about their faith, and who encourage and challenge you to grow spiritually, can have a tremendous positive impact on your walk with God. Does that mean you cannot associate with non-christians, No!…you must have deep roots that are not easily influenced or shaken..be the influencer, not the influenced, have a stand, so that your morals and behaviours are hard to be shaken.

Seek Mentors and Role Models: Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Look for mentors and role models who can guide and mentor you in your faith journey. These can be individuals who have a mature faith and exemplify godly characteristics that you aspire to develop. Their wisdom and guidance can help you navigate challenges and provide valuable insights as you seek to grow in your relationship with God. I have for instance been intentional to learn about prayer this year, I took an 8 week prayer course at my church and like you manifest things you often think about, a friend recently introduced me to a weekday early morning prayer group where ladies meet online to command their morning, I have many testimonies to share on that from just a week of waking up at 4:00am.

Engage in Christian Community: Being part of a Christian community, such as a local church, small group, or Bible study, can provide you with a supportive environment where you can grow in your faith. Surrounding yourself with like-minded believers who are committed to following Christ can create an atmosphere of accountability, encouragement, and mutual support. It provides opportunities for worship, prayer, Bible study, and fellowship, which can help you grow in your understanding of God’s Word and your relationship with Him.

Prioritise Healthy Boundaries: It is important to set healthy boundaries in your relationships to ensure that they are contributing positively to your spiritual growth. Avoid relationships that consistently pull you away from God or hinder your progress in your walk of faith. Be intentional about spending time with those who encourage and support your spiritual journey, rather than those who drain you emotionally or spiritually.

Be a Supportive Friend: Being intentional about choosing the right support system also means being a supportive friend to others. As you seek to grow spiritually, be willing to extend grace, love, and encouragement to others, and be willing to invest in their spiritual growth as well. When we bless others, we are often blessed in return, and our own faith is strengthened.

Intentionally choosing the right support system is crucial for our spiritual growth as Christians. It involves surrounding ourselves with Christ-centered relationships, seeking mentors and role models, engaging in Christian community, setting healthy boundaries, and being supportive friends. By purposefully selecting a support system that aligns with our faith values, we can create an environment that fosters spiritual growth and helps us become more like Christ. Let us be intentional in our choices and strive to be part of a supportive community that nurtures our faith and helps us grow in our relationship with God. God Bless You!

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Every-time I have heard a therapist or psychologist speak, I realise in many ways, there are unseen and unspoken diseases within us and in those we care about that may never get diagnosed or treated. We walk as shells of emptiness and keep wounding those around us the same way we were wounded. As a Christian, I know that God is our ultimate source of healing and restoration. His love and grace are boundless, and He desires to bring healing to every aspect of our lives, including our minds. Our minds are incredibly powerful, but they can also be vulnerable to negative thoughts, worries, anxieties, and the wounds of the past. However, when we allow God to work in our minds, we can experience true peace and restoration.

God’s Word tells us in Isaiah 26:3, that “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.” This verse reminds me that when we fix our minds on God and trust in Him, He can keep us in perfect peace. He is our anchor, our refuge, and our healer.

Here are some guidelines on howe we can allow God to to heal your mind:

Surrender your worries and anxieties to God: We often carry the burden of worries and anxieties in our minds, which can weigh us down mentally and emotionally. But God invites us to cast all our cares upon Him, for He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Surrender your worries and anxieties to God in prayer, and allow Him to take control. Trust that He has a plan and will work all things for your good (Romans 8:28).

Renew your mind with God’s Word: The Bible is a powerful tool for renewing our minds. It is filled with promises, truths, and wisdom that can bring healing and restoration to our minds. Spend time in God’s Word daily, meditating on His promises and allowing them to transform your thinking. As Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Seek Godly counsel and community: God has placed people in our lives to support and encourage us. Surround yourself with fellow believers who can provide Godly counsel and support. Seek guidance from parents, mentors, credible pastors, or counsellors who can provide insight and perspective. Remember, God often works through others to bring healing and restoration to our minds.

Pray for healing and forgiveness: Bring your hurts, pains, and past wounds to God in prayer. Ask Him for healing and forgiveness. Unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment can take a toll on our minds and hinder our ability to experience true healing. Surrender these emotions to God, and allow His grace and forgiveness to flow through you, both for yourself and for others.

Practice self-care: Taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally is an important aspect of allowing God to heal our minds. Make sure to get enough rest, eat healthily, exercise (even a 15 minute works magic), and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Remember that self-care is not selfish but necessary for our overall well-being.

Trust in God’s timing: Healing is a process, and it may take time. Trust in God’s timing and be patient with yourself. God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His timing is perfect. Keep your faith anchored in Him, and allow Him to work in His perfect timing.

By allowing God to heal our minds, we are on a journey that requires surrender, renewal, community, forgiveness, self-care, and trust. When we turn our minds toward God and allow Him to work in us, we can experience true peace and restoration. So, let us fix our minds on Him and trust in His healing power, knowing that He is faithful to restore and renew us from the inside out. May His healing touch bring peace and wholeness to your mind today and always. Amen. God Bless You!

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Many mental health issues in this day and age and especially for those over 30 years has some contributions from a relationship somewhere. Whether its wounded parenting and childhood traumas, bosses, spouses or significant others. Whatever the case is, In life, we all seek meaningful connections and relationships with others. We want to be surrounded by people who value and prioritise us. However, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we are giving our all to someone who treats us as an afterthought – merely an option in their life. This one-sided dynamic can be harmful and detrimental to our self-worth and well-being. Today, we will explore why it’s important to never allow someone to be your priority while you are their option. Until that realisation comes, you may keep drowning time and again..In Kenya, we call it “kujiita kamkutano” (calling yourself to a self actualisation meeting)

Your self-worth matters: You are valuable and deserving of love, care, and respect. It is crucial to recognise your self-worth and not settle for being someone’s option. When you prioritise someone who treats you as an afterthought, you are sending a message to yourself that your needs and feelings are not important. This can lead to a negative impact on your self-esteem and self-confidence. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you as their priority, not an option.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect: A healthy relationship is one where both parties prioritise and respect each other’s feelings, needs, and boundaries. It’s important to set healthy boundaries and not allow someone to take advantage of your time, energy, and emotions if they are not reciprocating the same level of effort. If you find yourself constantly being put on the back burner and being treated as an option, it’s a sign that the other person is not valuing you as their priority. It’s important to have open and honest communication in any relationship and address any imbalances that may arise.

It’s not fair to you: It’s not fair to constantly give your all to someone who only considers you as an option. Relationships should be based on mutual love, respect, and investment. When you make someone a priority in your life while you are merely an option in theirs, it creates an unhealthy and unfair dynamic. You deserve to be with someone who is willing to invest in you and make you a priority in their life, just as you do for them.

You deserve better: Settling for being someone’s option is not a reflection of your worth or value. It’s important to recognise that you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, cherishes you, and makes you a priority in their life. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve. It’s better to be alone than to be in a one-sided relationship where you are constantly overlooked or undervalued.

Finally, it is important to never allow someone to be your priority while you are their option. Your self-worth, healthy relationships, fairness, and the fact that you deserve better are all valid reasons to prioritise yourself and not settle for being someone’s option. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you as their priority, just as you do for them. Don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries and prioritise your own well-being in any relationship. You are worthy of a healthy, loving, and mutually respectful relationship.

And if you are stuck in a relationship or unforgiveness that you want out and your will power is not doing you any good, please get a good therapist or counsellor to assist you. God Bless You!

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